A few weeks before her wedding, my friend and her husband went to a fortune teller. To preserve the marriage, they were given a gem of an advice :
" Always avoid all kinds of dispute in the first 3 months of marriage"
and so they did.
Whenever one of them felt like a small argument is coming, either one held the tongue or left the room. When the problem heightened, they approached it with cool heads and delicate manner. Later on, this became a habit in their marriage. There is a very large room for tolerance between them, and in their 8th years of marriage, there has been hardly any kind of tension. They continue to speak with one another lovingly and with mutual respect.
This situation is what I'd like to sum up as " The Power of Hesitation".
In the beginning of a relationship, the couple usually would show their best sides and is reluctant to disrupt the baby stage of the relationship. I think it is safe to say that each would try to not deliberately hurt the feeling of the bf/gf. Unless it's a very unhealthy relationship to start with, then in that case the logic would not apply.
In a normal relationship though, as it progresses, mutual respect and kind words are one of the common slippery slopes. As your mood, stress and familiarity wear on, you might not watch what you say as carefully as you used to.
It's like a tale we've all heard to often :
Words carefully uttered, then they were casually spoken and before you know it, they are lashed out and meant to hurt.
That is why, I think it is not only a good idea to hesitate, but it is mandatory ethic to have in a relationship. Always hesitate, leave the room, bite your tongue, train yourself to pause and process before you cannot take back what has been said to your spouse.
So, today, let's hesitate, lest our words become the sword that kills.
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