Second Thoughts

Yesterday I saw this article being shared on Facebook timeline. 

While I'm certain it is written in playful nature, many times I have stumbled upon articles with similar sentiment. That is, how subsequent children matter- for the lack of better word- differently.

Having recently had a second baby girl, I do not find such articles to be relevant. Here's why to me having second is just as good as your firstborn :

1. Falling in love all over again.

I first saw her in the operating room. They placed the baby next to you for intimacy purpose although it happened within 3 seconds and I was in a druggy state. 

Later on, she was rolled into the room, and in the instant that I saw her, I felt it. 

So, get this , remember how fiercely in love you were when it was your firstborn? Basically you get to experience that ALL OVER AGAIN. And how many times do you get to fall in love with a different person without offending your previous ones? In babies, it would be an exception, a good one at that.

2. A do-over

A friend once joked that when your second baby cries over hunger you would strut to milk station instead of rushing around like you did the first time. I'd say it's true but it doesn't mean that you are not as attentive, it would be because you're calmer and you handle the situation better now.

My first year with Little Ems was a blur. If anything all I remember were guilt, inadequacy, fright and so on. Part of it was probably hormones, but most of it would be first-timer stress. 

Way before Baby A arrives I have vowed to keep things light, surely second time around I would be far more experienced and prepared. So far I have enjoyed her truly without as much stress. She is a welcome change of the whole guilt ride I've had before. 

3. The gift of siblings.

Adding a new family member means a lot to me, but one of the most significant ones is introducing sisterhood  to Little Ems. This goes beyond the idea of just having a playmate too.

Growing up with 3 sisters means I have 3 extra person I could count share everything with : problems, worries, happiness, good news and life itself.  Sounds simple, but in all essence of words, it is everything.

My ultimate wish would be that the two of them could be friends for life and since I've set the examples of good sisters, I sure hope they'd follow through. 

4. One is a king, two are peasants. 

When it was just Little Ems, we poured all sorts of first-class attention, time, energy and money to her. Not only was it exhausting and very stressful, the kid- being the genius/ manipulative creature that she is-, was also spoilt rotten.

With two kids though, when you have one crying in your arm and another literally hanging on your back, try as you might but you'd just have to resort to second-class treatment and basically just lock them in one playpen to shut them up. Catch my drift?

So when you're all stressed up on your only kid, have a second one! lol. Seems like a logic fail but it is so far the ethic I've adopted and is working well for me.

 two little peasants

To be fair, I do have a wonderful nanny whose existence is too good to be true. That explains why I can still afford to be a working mom with ( almost) a peace of mind. 

That being said, I will look forward to baby A's milestones with glee. To print out her baby pics and put them in albums. To always be fair in love and judgment and to continue to disagree with such articles.