As parents, we are inevitably exposed to the many advices of parenting. From reading, being told or simply stumbling upon our own knacks in dealing with our children.
While I'm by no means a flawless parent, here are several things that I try to live by when it comes to parenting :
1. Positive Pushing
It seems like the standard of a good education for a kid today is attending school full time plus numerous other additional courses : Language, Art, Musics, Sports and so many more. Heck, there is even a class of Penmanship with kids as young as 2 years old.
In a glance, this might seem over the top but in a way, I personally think that there is a silver lining in all these options and with the right push, I sure hope that my kids will benefit from the right activities. This is why I enrolled Ems into a ballet class when she was 2.5 years old despite the " 3 years old" minimum age requirement.
Certain that she was ready, I also thought that she needed a new circle outside her school to hone her social skills as she can be quite timid for no reason sometimes. So far she has enjoyed the class and blends in really well too. It's really a win-win situation.
For me, I think the key is not to overlook what really matters. I firmly believe that a kid should grow in a balance of emotional well being and academic achievements. For this reason, I really foresee myself pushing my children in plenty of extra activities providing that they are happy and actually gain benefit from them.
2. Ways of learning.
People often ask me where I went to study, probably because they associate my English skills with overseas education. The fact is I never went out of my hometown for it. How I actually get fairly good with it is through unorthodox ways : reading, gaming, watching movies and lastly, teaching. I can safely say that it is only in my late 20s that I got a really thorough self- taught English lessons while actually teaching others.
With that experience in mind, I sometimes stop and remind myself when Ems have inconsistent progress with her alphabets/ numbers or when Baby A isn't doing this or that yet. Kids will learn, maybe not in the way that we prefer or not in the speed that we like, but they will. I think as long as it is not alarmingly slow, I can live with it ( at least I'll try lol).
But yes, kids will learn. They will learn in time; they will learn by mistakes or by chance. Even if they don't, trust that there are SO many other aspects of life that they can still explore! Don't fret.
3. Don't revolve. Involve.
When you just have a kid, your world revolves around him/ her; at least it was so for me. Then I stumble upon a perspective changing article which basically said that instead of making the kid our center of universe, why not include him/ her in gratifying towards other positive things in life.
In my own term, I call it " Don't revolve. Involve".
The article exemplified religion, but not limited to other good virtues in life : gratitude, mutual respects, manners etc. In my case, I would say there really isn't any specific value I focus on but more to the whole idea of not letting myself over-glorifying the existence of my children.
4. Healthy Relationships.
I used to consider clinginess equals to the most desirable mother & daughter relationship. It was to me, like the ultimate approval of motherhood. Sounds crazy, I know.
I complained too many times when little Ems wasn't as attached to me as I'd hope until a friend pointed out a drawback that really got me think. She told me to imagine if I was sick and can't care for her, while the kid refuses to be cared by other persons except you. Who'd have harder time then? You or the kid? ( Hint : it is always the kid that suffers most)
Yes, it must feel very special to be the only person your bubs can't live without but like all good things in life, there should be a moderation. A child should be able to interact in healthy ways with other people. We as parents, should minimize any extreme preference towards certain person in his life, including ourselves.
Well, this is the end of my Parenting #101. Here's hoping to the #102!
