Stop Mom Shaming

This is definitely one of the most viral pictures circling around the internet. I've seen it early last year, re-edited, shared, liked and etc.

 

Rough translation :

Child : Mom, would you let the maid watch your jewelries/ precious things while you are away?

Mom : Of course not, I don't trust her.

Child : But why would you let her watch me?

*Cue sad music*

*Commence likes/shares/comments, mostly in furious agreement*

While I shouldn't be bothered with "just another viral picture of internet", frankly, it annoys the hell out of me. It is not just because of the fact that I am a working mom, directly making me fall into the evil category of moms who leave their kids with the help, but also because there are too many refutable points in it.

I can understand how one can liken the value of a child to gold BUT there are so many wrong context in that logic that I just have to dissect it once and for all:

1. Logic fail #1 : Gold watching vs kid watching.

Do your piles of gold need to eat 3 times a day?

Do your jewels need polishing at least dozen times a day?

Do they make sound, whine, need comfort?

Do the jewels/gold lie out in the open frolicking on the kitchen floor?

I am pretty confident they don't, unless you're an obsessive person then you might need constant jewel polishing but I digress.

Fact #1 : Your gold/jewel will stay safe hidden under dungeon unsupervised. Your child won't.

A child needs constant care and I mean 24/7 legit watching, even when he/she sleeps, you need to know if that child is breathing okay ( not the entire time but you get the point). That kind of supervision needs to be done by a person, with the workload preferably shared. THUS, the need for extra help – aka nanny/servant/maid/ another actual breathing reliable person.

Conclusion: Don't insinuate your agreement because it is highly likely that you've relied on the help of others.

2. Logic fail #2 : Losing child = losing money

Hey parents, here's an easy question:

“ Would you rather lose your money/gold/jewel than a child?”

Assuming I will get an unanimous “ NOOO!”, then why would you even associate their (lack of) similarity in the first place? 

For example : “ if apple is a fruit and orange is a fruit, then is apple an orange?”. 

Fact #2 : There simply in no direct correlation between a child and gold.

I wouldn't want to lose my belongings, but if situations require it, I'd give it up in a heartbeat for the sake of my children's well being. No question asked.

Conclusion : Don't be so quickly to jump into conclusions.

3.Logic fail #3 : The mom's only answer must be “NO”

Why not “ yes” or “maybe” or why not pose a challenging flow of conversation “ Depends. Why are you asking?”

I am fully aware of the many cases of thieving helps in the house. The thing is, before you leave your child with another person, logically you would have trusted that person enough to do so.

Fact #3: Alternatives of answer from the mom.

Ideally we would all want to have trusted hired helps. Realistically though, sometimes we have to settle for less. However, the rule of the thumb still applies : If he/she is not to be trusted, they have to go. Let alone be entrusted with a kid!

In my case, when I first left Emma to her nanny, I spied on her lol. I sent my sister to watch her. We installed house cams and such. Over time and constant evaluation, I deemed her trustworthy enough to watch my kids, my house and basically everything in it.

Conclusion :Don't assume that all nannies are evil. 

4. Logic fail #4 : The kid had the last words.

Seriously, I would like to meet a mom who would let a kid have the last word lol.

That's right, you listen kid

 

In the convo, it is implied that the mom was not able to answer the kid's question due to, I don't know, shame? Or perhaps, being schooled? 

Moms with the right heart would retaliate, she would answer and get the facts straight. She would make a teaching moment out of it.

Fact #4: Moms always have the last words. Even if we're wrong lol.

Conclusion : Don't buy into the wrong moral of the story.

Okay, end of the list.

Overall, the image is a brainless mom bashing in its full glory. Stop liking or sharing it, because you are not helping anyone with your poor judgment skills. You are only promoting the endless prevalence of mom-judging in the world.

I am certain that all moms have experienced a classic case of guilt. Working moms guilt over lack of presence. SAHMs guilt over lack of certain contributions.

The truth is any mom should be entitled to any number of identity as long as she is responsible in the well being of her children.

You want to be ONLY staying at home moms, help or no help, kudos to you.

You want to be working providing basic necessities, no judgment here.

You want to be working for your own selfish pleasure, GO AHEAD!

Motherhood should be a supportive community, afterall, you are raising kids who might have to work one day and not be around their kids the entire time. So, keep it positive and be wise.